Updated on September 5, 2019
What to Expect When Your Catholic Priest is Married
For those who have not been following my Blog and may not know me very well, I will start with a little back story. I am a physician who has been dedicated to my journey in medicine since I was 8 years old riding around with my mother as she made home health nursing visits on the weekends. Being dedicated to medicine meant it took me a long time to find my soulmate because I was following a very time consuming path of my own. When I was in my late 20’s in residency I started praying specifically for a Godly man, in short I wanted someone to whom their faith was important enough to go with me to church on Sunday’s and raise our children to love God. (Jason often says that the lesson God taught me was to be more specific in my prayers.) I certainly didn’t expect when I prayed for that Godly man that I would get a priest or that I would still be sitting in the pews by myself, with five children no less, on Sundays.
However, here I am, 12 years after our first meeting and ten of marriage, doing just that. In 2014, we followed God’s call to the Army Chaplaincy and a very unique ministry within the Russian Orthodox Church. We loved the Eastern rite and tradition but felt that our ministry would reach so many more by switching to the Bishop of Rome and last year took a real leap of faith in transitioning to the Byzantine Catholic Church. I can honestly say I was particularly nervous about how I and our children would be accepted as a priest’s wife/family in a predominantly Latin rite world. In Orthodoxy and in the Byzantine rite of the Catholic Church married priests are the norm, but we wouldn’t be serving in a typical Byzantine parish who would understand my place in my husband’s ministry and I had heard horror stories, yes they are always stories floating around, of others who had difficulty in this transition on many levels.
I can honestly say that I have been extremely blessed during our transition in that our community and Jason’s fellow priests have gone out of their way not just to accept us but to embrace us as a unique and wonderful blessing to the parish community. I cannot thank them enough for the warm reception and understanding we have received!
The Army is a unique place and I think a great one to see the increase in married clergy. In fact, At this point 10% of active duty chaplains in the Army are married, either through the Anglican Provision or the Byzantine rite as we are, many of them with large young families like our own. I personally think that this is a wonderful venue for married priests and a unique ministry for both the priest and the family as a whole. I would encourage anyone who has heard this call to prayerfully consider it more fully. The military life is full of special friendships built on a shared purpose and often a feeling of controlled chaos.
So for those of you who will be running across one of these wives, myself included, what can you expect or more importantly what are the most important things to know about us. First and foremost, we are human too. We have our imperfections and daily struggles just like you do and so do our families. You may catch us on a great day when we are on fire with the Holy Spirit or you may see us at a low when we are struggling with figuring out the path God is telling us to follow. Remember on the days that we don’t have it all together that even the Holy Mother and Joseph lost Jesus at the temple, and on the days we are on fire, know we understand if you aren’t, we’ve had those days too.
The same goes for our children. They did not ask to be born the children of a priest and need you to allow them the grace to grow up as children only. We will do our best to lead them on God’s path just as you do with your own children but their road is difficult in that everyone knows them and though ours have not yet seemed to realize the extra burden that places on them one day they will and we want them to know their community loves and supports them for who they are as individuals not who their parents are. So please, if you have something negative to say about us or them, talk to us privately and we will try to address the situation. If you are criticizing publically, even if its just their father’s homily, remember this can have a tremendous negative impact on their growth in Christ.
Next, clergy wives, whether priests or deacons, have a special role in the Church, this is why in the Eastern Church they are given their own title (which varies by ethnic tradition). Their first job is to be a helpmate for their husband and a mother to their children. If your priest isn’t taken care of then he will struggle in tending the Lord’s flock. This need is found in our celibate priests and bishops as well and I encourage everyone to look out for the health and well being of all of our clergy. Jason says I adopt every priest that I meet, which may be true, though I don’t tell them that, but it is particularly important for them to know how appreciated their service is.
In the Church itself, wives still often function as a helpmate to both their husband and parish community. Each of us does this through different roles depending on our season of life and areas of interest. When I first realized I was going to be a priest wife I reasearched as much as I could to figure out the expectations and ended up realizing they really are very different for each wife. Many in the Byzantine church migrate towards the choir as having a good cantor/chair is so important for this type of service. However, I have seen wives filling many varied roles and some who are not involved at all beyond attending with their children, (this is particularly true for wives with young families). I personally, do a great deal of teaching with my husband including marriage and confirmation retreats, and CWOC groups. I can often be found snapping pictures of important masses such as confirmation,weddings or baptisms because I enjoy taking pictures and at times these are the only photos someone has of a major event in their spiritual life. Rarely, I will even participate in counseling sessions with him for couples or families looking for guidance. Typically, though, most of our counseling is done separately. In our current community, I have been asked to contribute as an advisor for our Catholic Women of the Chapel (CWOC) groups. This is a role that I very much enjoy as I have felt so welcomed in my own group and know what a difference it can make for those new to a community.
It is important to note that as clergy wives we don’t know everything that’s going on in your and your families lives, even if you’ve told Father about it all. He won’t tell us what you have divulged to him. If you want us to know then you will need to seek us out. We are happy to be there for you in any way we can and we understand that sometimes there are circumstances in which someone may feel more comfortable speaking to us rather than or in addition to your priest, such as a miscarriage or family struggles. A lot of times, I personally hear that someone was worried I was too busy, for them to feel comfortable reaching out. I am busy, but it’s ok, I’m never too busy to make a few minutes for someone who needs support. Please know though, that we walk a very fine line while supporting our husband’s ministries and that if we think it’s something above our level we will encourage you to speak to Father, and are willing to go with you if it makes it easier. We are not looking to take his place in your spiritual journey just to augment it in a positive way.
For those of you meeting a new Clergy wife for the first time I hope this helps you to see them for the unique individual that they are. My fellow priest and deacon’s wives are among some of the most self-sacrificing women I know and many of them have taught me a great deal along my own journey. It can sometimes be a lonely road so make sure that you reach out and help them develop those friendships as you will find some fabulous women ready to laugh with you during the good times and cry with you during the bad. No matter what, respect that like you they are doing the best they can for their family and your parish community and while we each differ in personality and involvement, we all contribute something worthwhile to God’s plan.
Updated on March 21, 2018
Part III: How to Embrace the Chaos of a Large family as an Introvert!
If you’re just joining us in our series on Introverted parenting in large families, Welcome! You can catch up with the first two Parts in this series at Part I and Part II. Today we are going to talk about how to not only survive but thrive in that chaotic environment.
First off, rules and consistency help. All children need a framework from which to venture forth and explore the world around them. They need consistent, patient parenting so they know what to expect. You need it too! Try to keep a relative schedule particularly in terms of bedtimes. Giving yourself some alone time after bed is much easier when they go to bed on time and the most consistent way to do that is to have a good bedtime routine. That’s a difficult thing in our house due to my variable schedule and my husband the night owl. However, we see a real difference in both the kids and our behaviors when we manage to be more consistent. This is important in day to day rules as well. You and your husband need to agree on what the rules should be for your children and then consistently enforce them as repeating yourself over and over again like a broken record can really drag you down.
Treasure the individual quiet times you get with your children. The more often you can get them the better. Sometimes they happen one on one and sometimes they sneak in amongst the many distractions. As I write this my two and three year old sons are curled up next to me as my oldest son and daughter play the Lego Movie video game. My three year old turns around and says quiet simply “I love you Mommy! You’re the best Mommy ever!” The two year old just snuggles in closer and falls asleep. These are the simple moments you live for as parent, particularly when you’re an introvert. Remember them on the days you feel like you could pull your own hair out and are striving to maintain both your patience and composure as they all do their best to drive you slowly insane.
Work to schedule some of the types of family activities you enjoy. This could be relaxing on the beach, taking nature walks, or having a picnic lunch at the park. Not every vacation or family activity has to involve noisy crowded theme parks or adrenaline rushes. Taking time to share your passions with your children helps them to connect with you in a new way.
Last, but certainly not least, EMRBACE THE CHAOS (when you can). Just because you are introverted doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your fun chaotic life. Redirection of your kids energy can be a lifesaver on days you feel like an overcooked Turkey. Turn the radio on and have a spontaneous dance party, participate in the impromptu pillow flight or challenge you kids to an epic light saber battle that would make Darth Vadar and Luke Skywalker jealous! YOU DESERVE IT! These are the times that make you realize that even as an introvert you love having a large family!
Posted on November 17, 2017
Introverted Parenting: Surviving the Loving Chaos of a Large Family-Part II
For those just joining us this is the second part of a three part series on introverted parenting in the midst of a large family. You can read the first part Here. Most introverts from my experience tend towards smaller families due to their difficulty with large crowds, loud noise and overstimulation. My mother will tell you, I never backed away from a challenge. I didn’t expected to have five children but feel extremely blessed for my large family size most of the time. I’ve learned a great deal over the past few years especially how to survive amidst the chaos that accompanies a large number of young children in the same household 24/7. It’s not easy, but if you are up to the challenge the rewards are definitely worth the effort.
Where do I start?
I know just the thought of a large family sends shivers down your spine. I was the same way once upon a time. With our first child I wondered how our species had survived for so many thousands of years as I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to survive another night without sleep. When we added number two and a preemie to boot, I thought that was it. My physicians told me that was it, otherwise number three would be a lot older right now. Life had another plan, we found out on April Fool’s Day of course, my husband didn’t believe me. (I’m not sure I would have believed me!). We thought we had finally gotten this parenting thing down with two. Each of us had one of them and when we weren’t together at least we had two hands. Right?
Now what was I going to do? At that time one of our friends with five children gave us the best piece of advice we got. Once you have number three you move from a one-on-one defense to a zone defense and then it doesn’t matter how many you add afterwards because you and your wife just shift your zones around depending on the the kids offense. He was so right, which was a good thing for us because number four came fourteen months later. It wasn’t enough to slow us down though. We spent more time on the go than at home I think between Jason’s job as a Battalion Chaplain, my work and exploring the areas around Fort Campbell, KY. Almost a year later I remember looking at Jason just before we went on vacation and saying maybe we’re just done. We’d never had this much time between pregnancy’s besides my time with an IUD while on Coumadin. I said maybe God’s done with us. I am 37 after all. HA HA HA!
We came back from vacation all of us with the flu and I noticed my usual changes. Unfortunately, our little one never had a chance and I miscarried at 7 weeks. Less than a month later, we were expecting a rainbow baby and had no idea of the journey we were about to begin. We still hadn’t recovered from our loss and I’m not sure that we ever truly will be. However, we didn’t have much time to dwell on it as our lives changed dramatically that year. If you want to here more about my journey with Placenta Accreta check out my earlier blog posts.
Getting back to our subject at hand… How can you survivor that large, boisterous, loving family? I will preface the next few paragraphs by saying these guidelines, tips, commandments, etc. aren’t just important for introverted parents but for all parents no matter the size of your family. They are a must for your adult sanity and if you don’t follow these basics you have a much harder time getting to the enjoyment that we will talk about in Part II of this series.
So, that being said, the most important thing to remember is that you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself. Now this doesn’t mean that everyday you are off work you need to go to the spa, as nice as that might be. It does mean that you need to allow yourself the downtime you need. Some days this may be five minutes behind a locked bathroom door, others its a few hours working on something you enjoy by yourself, just reading a book or vegging out on the couch with a good movie and every once in a while you will need a day away from everyone. Its ok. Give yourself permission to be an individual with needs and not a constant parent and you will find that when you re-engage in the frenzy you find it so much more rewarding and that patience you lacked before will return allowing you to meet your children where they are. This often requires the particpation and support of your spouse so make sure that you keep the lines of communication with them open and let them know when you are feeling overstimulated.
Next, you need a date day with your spouse at a minimum monthly but preferably every couple of weeks. I know this may not be the most popular thing to say these days but when your children are grown you will still have your spouse and if you want to have something to talk about in your old age you need to stay engaged with each other. This is also important in other ways. It allows you time to communicate without your children present either about things they don’t need to overhear or just without being interrupted every few seconds and it models a good marriage for your children. Honestly, would you want your child to grow up marry the man or woman of their dreams and then once they have children stop spending alone time with them. Of course not! Show them how important that time is and keep your connection alive with your spouse. A happy marriage makes a huge difference in the joy found in your home even during times of stress.
Realize that not everyday will you be the World’s Greatest Parent. You don’t have to be perfect, its ok to make mistakes. It’s how you handle your mistakes that will determine how great of a parent you are in the long term. First, admit when you are wrong, this can be hard when you have to admit it to your child but it’s extremely important. You want your children to feel loved and respected. You want them to grow up understanding that mistakes happen, that they are not perfect and when they make a mistake they should own up to it and make amends. How will they learn to do this if they don’t see you their parents doing it. How will it affect the relationship they have with you and you with them. Many introverts tend towards perfectionism, I think it has to do with all the internal processing we do. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes, admit them and learn from them helps to keep us from living each day likes its the same as yesterday and holding onto the mistakes that we and our children make like a loadstone around our necks, depriving ourselves of the chance for a new beginning. Every minute of every day is a new beginning for you and your children. Take a deep breath, make amends and start over. You will find a lot of apologizing happening in our house, because we make a lot of mistakes, there’s a lot of us! Sometimes, we have to remind the kids and ourselves that it’s needed, other times we hear them apologizing to each other never realizing we knew there was a reason too. By letting ourselves live with our mistakes we can let them go and get back to having fun and this leads to children who can do the same.
There are lots of other things you can do to make your life simpler but they really vary by family. For example, we don’t carry a diaper bag anymore but a fanny pack that we easily wrap around the stroller and it really lightens our load. In Part III we will talk more about things you can do to make your life easier and not only survive but enjoy a large family as an introvert!
Updated on October 30, 2017
Introverted Parenting: Surviving the Loving Chaos of a Large Family-Part I
If you’ve never taken a Myers-Briggs personality test I strongly encourage you to consider it before having children. Knowing beforehand about not only your own personality but your spouses as well can help you prepare for the craziness ahead. Jason and I were lucky in that we both had a pretty good handle on our personality types before we got married. Unfortunately, in many ways though, we are opposites. I have always been extremely introverted as an INFJ, a personality type shared by only about 1% of the population. Being in medicine I’ve had to move closer to the middle in order to be able to not only make it through the busy days but enjoy them as well. My husband Jason, an ENTJ, is not only about as extroverted as they come but also a night owl. In the early days of our relationship, my family quite vocally, and embarrassingly, warned him of my moodiness and need for down time. He was so in love he couldn’t believe it and I naively thought it wouldn’t ever matter. What a laugh!
Ten years later, with 8 years of marriage and 5 children under age 7, we’ve both learned better. Being a parent to a large family is hard, being an introverted parent is like walking blindfolded through a minefield. First off, you are never alone. Down time loses all meaning. Instead of a day reading in bed, you are praying for five minutes of peace to use the bathroom, which never happens by the way! The only time you have quiet is when you are sleeping and that only lasts as long as the baby remains asleep as well. In the rare event that there is a quiet period you quickly learn to start looking for the enormous mess your children are in the process of making. If you don’t, you clean up a lot of messes.
Next, not all of your children will be introverts, particularly if you are married to an extreme extrovert like myself and even the ones that are are still children. I know when you picture your future family, you saw those perfect, quiet, well behaved children reading books while lying snuggled up with you on the couch or playing quietly with their toys while you cooked dinner. It’s a wonderful dream for new introverted parents but rarely matches the reality of your life and the more children you add the less likely for your rosy vision to come true. Instead picture a constant cacophony of voices that rises and falls like waves along a rocky shoreline during a winter storm that never ends. You’re extroverted children in particular feed off a large family environment and seem to be constantly searching for more. This can be overwhelming when you are trying to complete a task or needing time to think through and process things internally as they believe when you are quiet it’s their opportunity to engage you.
By the end of the day you are overstimulated not only from the almost constant noise but also the constant touching. If one is not demanding your attention or affection another is and there is rarely a moment when they are as young and as close together as ours that they are all happy. When one more climbs in your lap and wiggles and twists while you are trying to enjoy the movie you can feel like you want to crawl out of your skin and hide in a faraway place. I get it, in fact I live it every day. I know the struggle to be the parent you want to be admist the chaos of your large family. I’m here to tell you, there is HOPE! Not only can you manage your role but you can thrive in it.
If your interested in learning more stay tuned for Part II of this three part series.
In the meantime, I would love to hear from other parents, particularly those who are introverted like myself with what you feel are the unique challenges you face in raising your children. Feel free to share your comments below!
Posted on October 4, 2017
Aloha Hawaii! Lessons Learned During Our Recent PCS…
Sorry for the long delay since my last post. In June, we left San Antonio and headed on a fabulous trip across the American Southwest on our way to Hawaii. As excited as we were to head to Paradise with the Army for a few years this move was incredibly stressful and I just feel like we are starting to get settled in our new home. For those of you who get orders here in the next year I hope to help you make the transition a little more smoothly than ours. I’m going to separate things out in categories to make it a little easier to find.
Pets
First off prepare ahead as best you can and be ready for unexpected surprises. If you are planning upon bringing pets check out the regulations on the Hawaii government’s quarantine page here. We decided with our decision to travel the southwest in the middle of summer to go ahead and put our two dogs in the Quarantine for 4 months but they have several options including immediate pickup from the airport so make sure you read the regulations early and thoroughly because some of the requirements have to be performed at least 4 months out. Also start researching airline requirements as depending on the time of year you are PCSing there are restrictions for flying your pet in the cargo hold based on the temperature. Ours flew on American Airlines. The staff was super to work with and they offer a great military discount. I had to have them at the airport at 4 am though to get out of San Antonio and through Phoenix before temperatures started rising in May. If you choose the quarantine route, when you arrive you can visit during scheduled times and the facility will issue you a pass so that you do not need to check in at the desk every time. I can’t remember if you had to be paid in full to get the pass or not.
Professional Licensing
Next, if you are a spouse who needs a professional license start your application as early as you can. All professional licensing seems to be processed through the same office including physicians, nurses, real estate, engineers, mechanics… you get the picture. Therefore, it is a slow process. I did not receive my medical license until we had been here 6 weeks already and when you depend on your spouses’ income and have an expensive move it’s stressful. So go to the Department of Professional and Vocational Licensing and see if you need a license early and get your application done. Then follow up frequently to check the status. Be forewarned I rarely called that I was not on hold 30-60 minutes waiting to speak to someone in the office.
Household Goods
The military allows you to place part of your household goods in non-temporary storage when going OCONUS (Outside the Continental United States). The homes in Hawaii are not very big, though depending on where you are in base housing they can be decent sized. We have a family of seven and were shown 4 and 5 bedroom houses ranging from 1400 sq feet to 2300 sq feet with a mix of older and newer housing. (More on housing later). We mainly placed furniture in Non-temporary storage but the important thing to remember is to make sure you separate it out from what you plan on taking and as usual take good pictures or video of everything. I’ve had friends whose goods were lost and the company wanted proof of what they had. Also, make sure they load everything. We arrived in Hawaii only to find that one of our dining room table leaves made the trip here with us. Now it;’s just taking up valuable closet space.
When they move your household goods overseas instead of loading one big truck they load multiple small containers. On the other side, we found more crushed boxes than our normal moves. I’m not sure if this was due to the way they were packed or the fact they had to undergo loading, unloading and transit through the Pacific Ocean on a cargo ship. If you do not have an address for delivery when they arrive your goods go into storage and then it can take a month to get them delivered. Our household goods were loaded in San Antonio on June 15th. We arrived on Island on July 5th. Our goods arrived later in the month and we were told they could deliver on August 8th. However, we didn’t have an address yet as we hadn’t been assigned a house and our goods were put in storage. A few days later when we got an address it was too late. Our household goods were delivered August 23rd even though we moved into our house on July 31st. Thankfully, when living on base you have the option of Aloha furniture which gives you a bed, dresser and night stand for each person and table, chairs and couch for the common areas. Back to some important random mover info, we were told we have 75 days to file a claim versus the 90 days last time; they did not offer to unpack but did state that when we were done unpacking they would return to pick up the boxes and packing material. Another quick word on this- it can take several weeks for them to schedule to the pick up. We have not filed our claim yet but friends were asked to turn in broken items which in some cases were upsetting to them as even though they wanted reparation for the damage the item held sentimental value that made it worth keeping for them.
Travel
We always take advantage of PCS time for great vacations. My husband has a serious travel problem. He works to travel and is always planning our next vacation. When traveling prior to an OCONUS move there are a few important things to remember. You need to take enough clothing to make it through until your household goods arrive. However, you probably don’t need everything every night in a hotel. We have five children and our nanny moved with us. We were allowed four bags per person excluding our nanny as she is not a dependent and that did not count children’s necessities such as car seats and strollers. We had 33 items between the 8 of us. Thankfully we had three cars to load them in and upon arrival in Hawaii most units have a party that greets you at the airport and a van to transfer your luggage to the hotel. This was a lifesaver for us. During the trip, we packed a bag for the children and a bag for us to make getting in and out of the hotels each night easier. The rest of the luggage stayed in the car. Since we were staying in a different hotel almost every night we didn’t want to be unloading 33 items and reloading each day and wasting our sightseeing time. For the kids bags, I used IKEA’s collapsible drawer storage bins (the longer narrow bins) and packed an outfit for each child in 1 bin and stacked the bins into our Eddie Bauer rolling duffle suitcases. I was able to stack two rows of 4 in the smaller duffle and 2 rows of 6 in the larger one. I took in 1 bag until those days worth of clothes had been used and then switched to the other bag. Thankfully, by the time I was into a second bag we would stay in a hotel with laundryfacilitiess and be able to repack the clean clothes. When the clothes were out of the container it just unzipped and folded flat and was placed back in the bag. We kept a dirty clothes bag the we put clothes in at the end of the day and we dressed kids in the next days clothes after their baths each night so that we didn’t have to take PJ’s. In the extra large bag we brought some of the kids toys for when we would be staying in a hotel on island.
My husband researched national parks and local sites and mapped out our trip. We were able to use credit card points for a lot of our hotels which really helped to offset the cost of the trip as we had a lot of other out of pocket moving expenses with moving OCONUS like shipping the dogs, quarantine and shipping our cars. We didn’t drive more than 4 hours usually which gave us plenty of time to see much of the sites. As we visited the parks we had the kids participate in the Junior Ranger program. We bought each of them their own junior ranger vest, hat and compass and at each stop they picked up the educational pamphlet which usually included basically a scavenger hunt of the museum or park and after it was completed they brought it back to the rangers, said their pledge and earned another badge specific to each park. It was fantastic and the kids loved earning their badges. They are still putting on their vests and pretending to be Junior Rangers at home. I recommend picking up the worksheet first thing and trying to get to the park early. Our first park we didn’t pick it up until the end and then we couldn’t remember some of the answers and didn’t have time to walk all the way back through and other times we arrived at the park close to closing time and the Rangers were not willing to wait for us to finish. If you are interested in learning more about our travels with five kids under 7 then watch for the launch of our new travel blog “Traveling Chaos” sometime in the next few months. It will feature some of the great sites we have visited as well as tips for traveling with small children.
Cars
It is cheaper to ship your cars from the closest coast (usually) and they will likely get to your destination more quickly as well; so we drove all three of ours from San Antonio to L.A. and dropped them off at the loading lots ourselves. We used Pascha for two of our vehicles (our nanny moved with us) and the government shipped the other. If we had it to do over again we would have personally shipped our bigger vehicle and sent our mustang with the government because it took a lot longer to get that vehicle making transportation around the island with five kids a little more difficult for several weeks and there really wasn’t a difference in cost for shipping.
Housing
You cannot be placed on the housing list until you arrive so depending on your family size be prepared. We needed a 5 bedroom due to our large family size. We were able to stay at the Hale Koa with TLA. They do not accept pets and so friends of ours stayed at the Inn on Schofield Barracks. There are several other hotels that qualify for TLA but if you have a large family reserve your room early because during PCS season they fill up fast.
In regards to housing lists – if you are Army you can only be on the North or South list but not both at the same time. We initially started on the South list for Fort Shafter but after 2 weeks of no movement and TLA ending at 30 days we moved to the North list for Schofield Barracks. You can also make appointments and get on the lists for the other service branches but understand that you only qualify for up to 30 days TLA and you must have an offer letter to get all of it. Also, you are a high priority on your service branch list. So for example, we were priority 2 on the Army list but priority 3 or below for the other service branches. In addition, if you need a larger home understand that the number of units depends on the base and your priority depends on your orders not your arrival date so for Fort Shafter we were number 9 out of 14 that they knew would need a 5 bedroom. Only only 4 of the families above us had actually checked in with housing and of those below us we didn’t know if they would bump us further down when they checked in. At least, this is how it was explained to us.
We looked at off post housing options. Unfortunately, with the recent decrease in BAH and now a decrease in COLA with a family our size that would have been difficult. A 5 bedroom in Ewa Beach, of comparable size to our current on base house, for example was $4,000/month not including utilities which are quite expensive here even with most houses having solar panels. Trying to get closer into town wasn’t even really an option. For smaller families depending on where you live it certainly could be. Just make sure you ask what the average utilities are for the house as you need to factor that into your monthly expenses. Also, rentals go very quickly here, particularly decent ones so be ready to make a quick decision.
Aloha Hawaii!
Even with the stress and unexpected surprises that occurred for us with this move we are happy to be here! The weather is beautiful, beaches amazing and there are lots of great activities for the kids. Living here is not the same as visiting as a tourist but we plan to enjoy our time to the fullest. We were happy to find friends already here or PCSing at the same time as us and now that we are settling in look forward to exploring the island as well as branching out to see some of the other great islands near us. If you are interested in our adventure stay tuned for more posts including great information about our time at the Hale Koa in Waikiki, Pirate Cruise Adventure and loads of pictures of Paradise as I’m finally able to download all of my memory cards onto my computer for editing and am planning to start back offering Stylized Children’s Photography Sessions. Feel free to subscribe for updates and if you are looking to learn more about traveling with young kids and Wordschooling then look for our new Blog “Traveling Chaos” which should be up and running in the next few months!
Updated on January 31, 2017
IMAGING USA 2017
Hi everyone! I am so excited for the changes coming to our lives this year. I was able to attend the Imaging USA conference in San Antonio, TX and what an incredible 3 days! I learned so much from so many talented speakers and can’t wait to apply it to my photography. I also found some amazing new products that I know you will love! In a previous post, I discussed the challenges that I faced in 2016 with a condition called Placenta Accreta in which during pregnancy a woman’s placenta attaches to her uterine wall abnormally and invades it more like a cancer would. I am so thankful to be alive today with a sweet loving new baby and to watch my children grow. It feels different on the Survivor side but I Beat the Beast and now will spend my time helping others to get through this difficult situation as well through my photography. Please feel free to message me through the blog or my Facebook page Loving Chaos Photography for more information or just to find support from someone who’s been there.
For everyone else, I am please to announce that I will be taking on a limited number of photography clients over the next few months in San Antonio before our PCS to Hawaii in June. I have teamed up with Mystic Oleander Creations to showcase her new line of custom newborn wraps and fabric backgrounds as well as her exclusive children’s costumes specifically designed for photographers who often need outfits to fit a range of sizes. I am currently looking for models and will be posting updates on my Facebook Page, Loving Chaos Photography. For those currently expecting and due in the next 1-6 weeks please email me or message me and I will send you an application. You will be provided a custom newborn session and 5 edited high resolution images with a printing release and have the option to purchase additional products at a discount in exchange for your time and a signed model release.
Thank you so much to everyone who has provided their prayers and support through the last year. I look forward to seeing what God has in store for us next!
Updated on January 31, 2017
Miracles
I sit here writing to you today and reflecting on the many changes that 2016 wrought in my life in so many ways. Those who have been following my blog know that last year I was faced with some of the most difficult challenges of my life to date. The year started out like any other full of bright prospects. My husband had been accepted to a program to train as a hospital chaplain and we were looking forward to moving to San Antonio, Texas in the summer. We were blessed to go on a wonderful vacation with my parents and our four children to Hawaii at the end of January and were happy to find out we were expecting number five when we returned home from our trip. Thats when things started going awry. We all came down with the flu and had a few miserable weeks in our house. Even after we recovered I still didn’t feel right and unfortunately, I miscarried on March 1st, 2016. It was a terrible time for my husband and I and neither one of us were really prepared when at the beginning of April I found out I was pregnant again
That week also found Jason heading down range to a training deployment for a month and me working to get ready for our move at the end of May. Those two months flew by, I was able to see OB prior to our departure and due to my advanced maternal age status they recommended a new screening test for genetic disorders called NIPT. The bonus was that you also found out the baby’s sex with it so I said sure, really hoping for another girl… The day of our move arrived and I still hadn’t heard the results so I stopped by the OB’s office as we were driving out of town. Bummed that everyone was out to lunch and I couldn’t get the results, we headed out on our next adventure.
My husband loves to travel and so he takes every opportunity to see as much as he can during our moves with the military. He had planned out a six day trip from Fort Campell, KY to Fort Sam Houston, TX. The first day we stopped at Loretta Lynn’s ranch as my parents are huge fans. At the end of the tour I received a call that I will never forget. My test was back and it was abnormal. According to the OB the test was borderline for Down syndrome or Trisomy 21. She had never seen a result like this before. I spent the next several days trying to get more information as we traveled the back roads of Tennessee with very little cell phone reception. Our visit to Graceland was a blur as was really most of the trip.
The we arrived in Texas, we checked into a hotel and started looking for a house. All told we lived in a hotel room for six weeks between the trip and house hunting. Have you ever lived in a hotel room with four kids under age 6 for six weeks before. Let me tell you, its not an experience that I want to repeat. I was also having difficulty getting my new Texas Medical license so that I could start work in July so we decided that I would fly back to Tennessee to do some work for my previous employer. I am thankful that I had that opportunity and took it because I’m not sure how the rest of the year would have turned out otherwise.
I was finally able to get into the OB clinic here and referred to a Maternal Fetal Medicine specialist who specializes in high risk pregnancies in July. My first appointment we had our anatomy scan and everything with Rachel looked great. She had no markers of Down Syndrome. However, I had a complete placenta previa which is where the placenta overlies the cervix and mine was also lying over the scar from my previous c-section. You can see my last post if you want more information about it here. That visit set the tone for the next few months of overwhelming stress. I developed a Placenta Percreta and testing showed that the placenta had grown through my uterus and was invading the bladder. I was having intermittent spotting as well as blood in my urine and my blood counts continued to drop even with iron infusions. By the end of September, I was hospitalized and scared. I had four beautiful children at home, a loving husband and an amazingly supportive family. I was looking at a 7-10% mortality rate even if my physicians did everything right and I was seeing a different physician almost every time I went in and getting different information, none of it good. I wrote a post about that fear and how I was keeping my faith in God to get me through this horrible reality in which I was living. I worked hard to turn everything over to him and was put out of work to try to get me to my scheduled C section date at the end of October. I tried to enjoy that time at home with the kids but even now am still not sure how successful I was in that endeavor. Our six year old in particular was very scared during the end of my pregnancy which was worsened every time I was hospitalized unexpectedly. My parents came and lived with us so that I would not have to worry about what would happen if I started bleeding while home alone with the kids.
Thankfully, our God is indeed miraculous and for some reason in his infinite very he chose to bless me greatly. The week after my last post my bleeding started slowing down and the blood in my urine completely stopped. I also stopped having the pain that I had been wrestling with and I made it to the Sunday before my surgery was scheduled. I had been put in the hospital that week to rule out a blood clot and start steroids prior to my surgery. I got the first dose of steroids Sunday morning and Jason brought our two oldest children to attend Mass with me at the hospital. During Mass, I went into preterm labor and so when we got back up to the floor I was moved to the monitored unit and they attempted to stop my contractions without success. My team was finally called in that evening and every one of them stood at my bedside while my husband prayed over us. Let me tell you the room was packed full, as they were prepared for the worst case scenario, but it was silent and somber as we asked for the Lord to watch over us all through the upcoming surgery I am so thankful to my mother for having the presence of mind to video it on her phone. even though I have not watched it yet I know that one day I will need to re-live those special moments with the Lord.
Shortly thereafter, I was taken to the main OR and Rachel Pauline Dechenne was born on October 23, 2016 at 11:59 pm. I was able to hear her first cry and then the real work began. Rachel was initially placed on CPAP as her lungs were not fully mature and she was having some difficulty breathing. She was given surfactant the next day which made significant improvement and she was weaned off all oxygen a few days later. I was put under general anesthesia and had a hysterectomy. Thankfully, a miracle had indeed occurred and according to my OB there was a thin membrane which looked like a piece of saran wrap separating my placenta from the bladder though it had completely invaded through the uterine wall. I was in surgery a total of four hours to remove the uterus, part of the cervix which had been invaded and my right fallopian tube but thankfully kept both my ovaries. I had been told prior to the procedure that I would likely remain intubated and wake up in the ICU and so was surprised to wake up shortly thereafter in the post-op recovery room instead. I did not need a transfusion during surgery but did require one a few days later as my blood counts continued to drop. I was able to see Rachel the next day and at that time she was being evaluated by the geneticist. He felt that she did indeed have some clinical signs of Down Syndrome and so she underwent a variety of tests over the next few weeks to look for the extra chromosome. He blood testing came back negative but a buccal swab confirmed what we suspected. 16% of her mucosal cells contained an extra copy of Chromosome 21 and Rachel was officially diagnosed with Mosaic Down Syndrome.
Rachel spent a total of five and a half weeks in the NICU and was home in time for Christmas. Jason was able to take some time off to spend with us around the holidays before heading to D.C. for a few weeks to start his Doctor of Ministry and I was able to return to work on schedule. I am so thankful for such a miraculous blessing and look forward to a bright year with 2017. The year is already starting out with a bang! I have realized that I need to spend more time finding the joy in my life and embracing it fully. So stay tuned for some of the exciting changes that I am making this year!
Posted on September 29, 2016
What Do You Do When Fear Takes Over What Should Be One Of the Happiest Times in Your Life?
I’m scared….
Its very hard for me to admit that I am carrying fear inside me on a daily basis right now. I am a go getter, a self starter, usually an optimist but at least a realist who was raised to believe I could overcome anything if I had faith in God and worked hard enough. However, I find myself now daily trying to figure out how to live in a situation I can’t control.
At the beginning of this year I was the mother of four beautiful, sweet, healthy children and wife to an amazingly supportive husband, all of whom are the center of my world. I have never had easy pregnancies but God has miraculously gotten me through four with only one preemie and what I would consider minimal long term complications of my own. When we had number four my husband, who is an Orthodox priest and Army chaplain, and I both prayed about whether we were finished. Neither of us felt at that time that God was definitively telling us we were done and my fourth pregnancy was by far the easiest of them all. So we left it in God’s Hands.
At the end January we took a wonderful family vacation along with my parents. It had been almost a year since the birth of our last child and I had just turned 37 in December leading me to comment to my husband that God must be done with our childbearing years. He laughed at me just a few short weeks later when I started feeling sick and sure enough a pregnancy test revealed that number five was on its way. Unfortunately, 7 short weeks into that pregnancy I woke up miscarrying. I was scheduled to work a 24 hour shift in the ER of a critical access hospital in rural KY and was only able to spend 10 minutes crying in my shocked husband’s arms before having to get back up and get on the road to make it to work on time.
Losing that baby was very hard on both of us. I don’t feel like I had really even started processing it when I started feeling sick again. It had been less than a month since my miscarriage and my husband was due any day to deploy for a month long training mission with his battalion. In addition, we were due to PCS to San Antonio at the end of May. However, a home pregnancy test confirmed that we were indeed expecting again.
I saw my OB and had an Ultrasound which looked great. At 10 weeks they drew a new NIPT test to look for genetic issues due to my advanced maternal age. They told me to to expect the test results in 7-10 days. However, the day of our move arrived and I still hadn’t heard the results. In a last ditch effort, I stopped by the clinic but no one was available to find them for me so we headed out of town.
Later that day while on the back roads of Tennessee with poor cell phone reception I received a call from the OB clinic. My test had come back and it was borderline for Down Syndrome. The OB who called apologized that she was calling with the results even though she had never seen me and that she really didn’t know what the test result meant as she had never seen this result. I spent the next several hours on the road desperately trying to figure out what it meant. The next day I called the company genetics manager and found out there had only ever been two borderline results in the five years of the test and they didn’t know what happened in the first case. My MFM was able to get more info in that these tests have a normal range and an abnormal range and a small area in between. My result was just outside the normal range but not close to the abnormal range. He recommended a repeat NIPT once we arrived in San Antonio. So I talked to my husband, we already knew the diagnosis wouldn’t change anything for us and so we decided against an amniocentesis and to wait and see what happened later.
I had been having a bad feeling since the start of this pregnancy and honestly, thought that was it. However, upon since our arrival in San Antonio we have realized that whether the Baby is affected by Down Syndrome is absolutely the least of our problems. As with any move it took a few weeks to get settled. We lived in a hotel room with four children and a puppy for over a month while finding and then moving into our new home. Getting a Texas medical liscence is a long process and so I was still flying back to Tennessee to work every few weeks and it took several weeks to get back into the OB.
My first Ultrasound after the move really started my current nightmare. The baby looked great and they found no markers for Down Syndrome though we still have a 30% chance that she has it. However, I had a Placenta Previa. This happens when the baby’s placenta implants over the internal opening to the cervix. We had had a partial Previa before in my first pregnancy but the placenta grew over time towards the top of the uterus where there is more blood supply. Unfortunately, this time it was completely covering the os and unlikely to migrate as we were already 20 weeks along. In addition, I have had four previous c-sections and it was covering my scar as well. Initially, other than the placement everything looked good. However, I walked out of the appointment still feeling like I had been punched in the gut.
As a physician, my husband often complains that I know too much about the potential for bad things. This was one of those times. My husband listened to them say no evidence of acreta and start pelvic rest and we will recheck in 4 weeks and took it at face value. I get in the car, immediately call my best friend who is an OB and told her while trying not to cry. Her first response was the same as mine. Oh No! With four previous c-sections my risk of developing a placenta acreta was 61-67% depending on the medical resource I looked at. My husband just looked at me and said “What is an acreta?”
According to ACOG’s Committee Opinion Number 529, July 2012:
Placenta accreta is a general term used to describe the clinical condition when part of the placenta, or the entire placenta, invades and is inseparable from the uterine wall (1). When the chorionic villi invade only the myometrium, the term placenta increta is appropriate; whereas placenta percreta describes invasion through the myometrium and serosa, and occasionally into adjacent organs, such as the bladder. Clinically, placenta accreta becomes problematic during delivery when the placenta does not completely separate from the uterus and is followed by massive obstetric hemorrhage, leading to disseminated intravascular coagulopathy; the need for hysterectomy; surgical injury to the ureters, bladder, bowel, or neurovascular structures; adult respiratory distress syndrome; acute transfusion reaction; electrolyte imbalance; and renal failure. The average blood loss at delivery in women with placenta accreta is 3,000–5,000 mL (2). As many as 90% of patients with placenta accreta require blood transfusion, and 40% require more than 10 units of packed red blood cells. Maternal mortality with placenta accreta has been reported to be as high as 7% (3). Maternal death may occur despite optimal planning, transfusion management, and surgical care. From a cohort of 39,244 women who underwent cesarean delivery, researchers identified 186 that had a cesarean hysterectomy performed (4). The most common indication was placenta accreta (38%).
Over the next few weeks we met with several physicians and it just kept getting worse. We now know that the placenta has attached abnormally at my c-section scar and has not only grown through the wall of the uterus but is also invading my bladder. We still don’t know the extent to which it has encroached on the bladder or possibly any other organs or vessels in the immediate area. My case is also complicated by the fact that I have had DVT’s in the past and am on blood thinners to prevent a recurrence. This gives me a higher risk for bleeding both from the previa and the percreta. Initially, I tried very hard not to be alone with the kids in case something happened. Thankfully, my mother has a job which allows her to work from home and has come for an extended visit which has alleviated that concern.
Currently, I am 30 weeks and 2 days and hoping that we make it to a scheduled C-section/hysterectomy at 34 weeks as this will hopefully give both the baby and I the best outcome. I have had new symptoms with the pregnancy that I didn’t have with the other four including mainly a dull pain in my lower abdomen that intermittently becomes very painful and then regresses back to the low dull pressure feeling. I have had increased anemia compared to prior pregnancies causing significant fatigue and recently underwent an iron infusion which has seemed to help at least halt the downward spiral I was on. I have also experienced intermittent light spotting and blood in my urine which we continue to monitor at this point.
Maybe most importantly, I have struggled with the fear of not being here for my four sweet children and husband, of leaving my parents without a child and my siblings without a sister. Initially, every time I went to the Doctor I came home anxious, depressed and frustrated. I felt like I wasn’t being given the information I needed as a physician myself, that the healthcare providers I was seeing were hedging and trying to make it seem better than it was. Honestly, they probably were and in their position I would likely have done the exact same thing. We are taught to only tell patients that which we are sure about and to gather the facts first. What I was looking for was their experiences and gut feeling about an outcome that I realistically know they can’t predict. Plus, I was angry with God. I didn’t understand how he could have allowed this to happen when I was trying so hard to follow him faithfully. Why have me go through all these years of training and sacrifice to be a physician in order to help others, given me those four loving children and husband and then take it away. It just didn’t make sense.
It has really taken the last month for me to figure out how to cope with my current situation. I have often thought of Job and the trials that he went through for his faith and have realized that God is not doing this to me but that doesn’t mean he is not allowing it to happen. We are not promised a life free of suffering or pain when we choose to follow Christ. We are promised everlasting life. We are promised a loving father who will carry us in his arms during the tough times. We are promised that he will be there with us no matter what we go through or what the outcome is. Suffering should bring us closer to God, it should strengthen our relationship but only if we allow it to. I have made the choice to turn to him rather than away and this has allowed me to find if not complete peace at least a lifeline to hang onto. I know that I am not perfect but he is and I trust that he has a plan for me and my family at this time as long as I have the courage to turn my fear over to him and trust.
I hope though long that this post will help my family and friends who have been so worried and prayerful to understand what’s going on and that it may help others going through this same situation to see that there is still a light to hold on to. I will keep everyone posted as things progress. I would appreciate greatly your thoughts and prayers not only for me and the Baby but also for Jason, our children and my family as they travel through this dark period with me. I could not make it without them.
Updated on February 15, 2016
The Magic of Childhood
Six years have already gone by so quickly. I still remember vividly finding out that I was expecting our first child. This Wednesday she turns six years old. A third of her “Childhood” will be gone and I’m still trying to figure out where it went.
For those that don’t know us, my husband and I are basically big kids ourselves. We were married at Walt Disney World in a Fairy tale Ceremony right down to riding in Cinderella’s carriage. I’ve never felt more like a princess than that day. We call our daughter, Melissa, our little piece of Disney Magic as we found out we were expecting her not long after we got home. She has always been our very own Princess, a role that has not diminished with the arrival of three rambunctious little brothers. As a family, we love traveling and are always looking for the adventures in life, particularly my dear husband. We spend a great deal of time at Disney World every year enjoying the magic of childhood with our own children. We want to see each of them embrace the joy of childhood throughout their whole lives.
Now when I talk about the magic and joy of childhood, I’m not just talking about Fairy tales and Disney. I’m talking about the wonder and curiosity that children have for the world around us. They look at everything with fresh eyes that really see what’s there and appreciate even the simple things. They have boundless imagination and spend countless hours pretending to be princesses, knights, pirates, fairies, superheroes, or even kittens and puppies. They notice the birds perching at a feeder or the squirrels collecting and storing their nuts for the winter. The pick up the ladybugs and examine each ones spots. They exclaim over the colors of a rainbow and search the night sky for a shooting star. They take the boring and mundane in life and make it special. In doing so they help me to remember and embrace the joy and magic of my own childhood. Their excitement makes me want to continue to see the world through the eyes of a child. God’s creation is a magnificent thing and all to often as adults we get weighed down by the priorities of life and forget to enjoy to beauty before us.
I order to foster these magical moments in our children we encourage them to look around us and see what’s there and imagine what could be. We have invested stock in costumes of all varieties that are often changed hourly throughout the day. We can be a knight in shining armor one minute and Darth Vadar the next, a few minutes to an hour later and Iron Man or Thor make an appearance. In our household, the little boys enjoy costumes even more than the Princess. We read to them a great deal from a wide variety of literature type and watch even older movies like Wizard of Oz, the sound of Music, and Pete’s Dragon in addition to the new blockbusters. We also try to encourage them in the different plots that they come up with asking them questions about whatever the days mission is or what strange planet they are exploring. They love when we are involved in their imaginary play and the sky is the limit in the ways you can encourage them.
Recently, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to take photos of my daughter and her best friend, Taylor for their birthdays. Everyone involved had a wonderful time and I think the adults enjoyed themselves in some ways even more than the girls, at least I know I did. We pretended we were princess for the afternoon and my dear sister-in-law, Allison did the girls hair and make up and then we took a great deal of pictures and had a fun Princess Tea Party. I think you will see from the pictures below what a blast it was. I hope to do more of this style of photography in the future as I really feel it captures the joy and playfulness that childhood is about. Some of my favorite shots were when my friend Jill got down at the end to join the tea party with Taylor, what wonderful memories to treasure between mother and daughter. Unfortunately, as we are seeing already, these days go by all too quickly .
I encourage each of you to take a few minutes today and not just watch your children play but get down with them and pretend you are a child again. Be the princess or the dragon in their fairy tale and enjoy yourself immensely! You won’t regret it!
Posted on February 9, 2016
A Day in the Life of our Homeschool
I recently read some Homeschooling blog posts about a typical day in their homeschool. It was amazing the variety that I found. Reading about other families typical days made me think about what I say our typical day would be. With four children and two working parents I don’t think we have typical days in our homeschool. However, after giving the matter some thought we do have typical weeks or months. We started out as most Homeschoolers do trying to replicate traditional school in our home. With all the research I had done prior to starting I knew this wasn’t what I ultimately wanted but at least it was a starting place of comfort. As a physician I have done a lot of traditional school… As a student though I know that you learn best through immersion and this is what I truly wanted for my children. I want a learning lifestyle where everything is a learning opportunity even play. I didn’t want my children sitting day in and day out doing monotonous work. I wanted to instill in them a love for learning which requires joy in learning. Right now we only have one child who would be in traditional school but we have four who are constantly exploring the world around them.
We have found that a rigid daily schedule doesn’t work well for us and so we have established a weekly task list. Melissa gets a new list on Monday that includes her language arts, math, science and social studies lessons from Time 4 Learning (T4L) with worksheets as well as her spelling words, Bible reading and the chapters that we are reading from our Charlotte Mason curriculum. With my current schedule I am at work on Tuesday/Thursdays for 24 hours so Monday is our heavy work day. We get a head start on T4L in the morning while her brothers are at preschool. Some days we accomplish a lot of it and some days we are lucky to get through a section. I will say that the task list has significantly helped with motivation for Melissa because when she’s done with her weekly tasks she’s done with assigned school work and every thing else we do is fun learning. We pick her brothers up at noon and all head for some lunch. After lunch Eli (2) and Zachary (11 months) lay down for a daily nap. Bobby (4) sometimes naps and other days he stays up with us. We work on art and crafts, spend time reading from our chapter books (we are reading “Little House in the Big Woods” currently) and table manners at our daily tea parties. We spend time outdoors enjoying nature or at a minimum watching the birds at our feeder outside our kitchen window. We build forts, put on plays or dance recitals on our pretend stage (made from large foam hardwood floor play flooring at Toys R Us) and have mock battles with light sabers, pirate swords or ninja gear. Sometimes we use this for quiet time and Lego building. I am always fascinated by the scenes they build. Once the boys wake up its playtime and cooking dinner until Daddy gets home and then family time or finishing up work while Daddy takes over some of the play time until bed.
Tuesdays see me heading to work before daylight. The kids wake up on their own schedule and get dressed, breakfast and some early playtime. Danielle (our nanny) helps Melissa figure out what’s left on her T4L lessons and gets her started while the boys play. Zachary usually takes a small morning nap which helps control the chaos. The lessons are self paced and Melissa knows she can ask for help whenever she needs it. She likes to alternate a lesson and worksheet to help break up the time. If the morning chaos is too much for learning she gets early playtime and does her lessons in the afternoon while the boys are napping. When naptime is over everyone loads up to take Melissa to dance lessons. She has been dancing since she was 2 years old and is often found performing for us or her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Once Dance is over its time for dinner and movie time with Daddy at home. Everyone climbs up on top of him on our big sofa with popcorn to watch whatever movie is playing that night. Mommy loves being able to catch glimpses of this sweet time from work on our Nannie Cam.
Wednesdays find me sneaking in the house as quietly as possible to try to sneak into bed before anyone sees or hears me. Sometimes I get a quick nap while Danielle takes the boys to preschool though most of the time I don’t as Wednesdays are my errand day. Either way, Melissa usually finishes her T4L lessons on Wednesday morning and works on her spelling words. Sometimes this happens at home and sometimes while riding to the grocery store. At lunchtime we pick the boys up and either meet Daddy for lunch and then run errands or grab lunch and head home. Once the little ones are down for their naps we finish up anything that needs to be done, straighten the house and have our tea party. Wednesday afternoons tend to be more quiet play so Mommy doesn’t get too overwhelmed. Danielle also stays all day Wednesdays which provides an extra pair of hands when needed for errands or children. Bobby has Dance in the late afternoon but to early to wake up the other boys without grumpiness so this allows one of us the time to run him to Dance without taking everyone. During Bobby’s dance time Melissa can often be found helping me prepare dinner. During this time we talk about recipes and measurements and review some of the things we have been learning for the week.
During the summer we have Wednesday night Movies on the Lawn which is an open house event. We set up a projector out back with Disney movies and make fresh popcorn for the kids. Some weeks its just us and some weeks we have a houseful. Its a great way to socialize with our neighbors and colleagues outside of work and the kids have a blast every week. If its raining everyone moves indoors and the movies are set up upstairs in the playroom/den.
Thursdays, I head back to work and Danielle helps Melissa finish up any lessons or worksheets she may need and then spend the rest of the day working on what interests everyone. From coloring, to crafts or even the basics of sewing they explore what comes up. You can often find Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, Fraggle Rock or other educational videos on the TV during quiet time on Thursdays. When the weather is nice they are out at the local park or playing in the back yard. Make believe is very important in our household and right now animals are the favorite character.
Fridays Mommy arrives early in the morning. The boys head out to pre-school and Mommy tries to get a nap usually. If no nap is needed we spend the morning exploring new things like computer programs, our local art studio, insects outside or going to the gym for exercise. Sometimes we have to use those mornings to finish up outstanding school work for the week but that has become much less rare in the last few months with our weekly tasks. Melissa likes being able to have Fridays as a fun day and so will even work on school lessons in the evenings during the rest of the week in order to get everything accomplished. We pick the boys up and usually do something fun as a family like swimming, playing at the local park, indoor playground or even Chuck E. Cheese if we are getting a treat. Other days we come home and spend the afternoon using sidewalk chalk to beautify our patio or open up our fold out kitchen table and paint pictures or snuggle up on a couch reading. Sometimes you can even find us at our local pottery store painting, Melissa begs to do this on a weekly basis.
As you can see though no “day” is particularly typical for us, we have established a flow that works. We home school year round which gives us even more flexibility for vacationing, times when we are sick or even to slow down and enjoy the Holidays while still accomplishing what we need to. Weekends are often spent exploring the area around us. We have made trips to St. Louis, Gatlinburg, Atlanta, Lexington, Louisville, Memphis and many more. We always learn so much on these trips.
We currently live in Tennessee which requires a statement or intent to Homeschool and an attendance report filed at the end of the school year. Students must meet a minimum attendance requirement or 4 hours x 180 days per calendar year. However, Time 4 learning keeps great records of the child’s attendance and reports for the work completed, as well as grades on their lessons, quizzes and tests if they are needed. I also keep a small calendar that I update with our other activities to have a more accurate record of our time spent in homeschooling. As we move with the military I know other states will have different requirements and I want to make sure that we are prepared for those requirements.